Writer Believes What he is Told, Refuses to Formulate Own Opinion
(scene: Atlantic Coast, early 1700's)
Lepper: Hey, what are you doing there buddy?
Slave Trader: Oh, just bringing these poor Africans over to our nice little land here. They were all poor and naked in Africa, so I figured "why not bring them over here and give them jobs on our farms?"
Lepper: I see. But what's with the chains and shackles?
Slave Trader (nervously looking around, grinding teeth): Umm, uh, well, it was their first time on a ship, and they were scared and got pretty restless. We put the chains on so they wouldn't hurt themselves.
Lepper: Well, that was mighty kind of you, sir!
A more recent example:
(Scene: Detroit Pistons press conference, June 24th, 2005)
Lepper: Coach Brown, Coach Brown! What do you say to all the rumors regarding you becoming the new coach of the New York Knicks?
Brown: How'd you get in here?
Lepper (displaying press pass): I write for the Oakland Tribune.
Brown (snickering): Oh, OK. Well, then, the answer is "No." I doubt I'll be coaching at all next year, with my health and all. It's too late in the game for me to be starting over somewhere else.
Lepper: Great, thanks Coach!
Some things never change. Now that Warriors executive vice-president Chris Mullin has said that he will not blow up the team, apparently we should take him at his word.
Golden State's brain trust has no problem standing pat with its current crop of players and expecting them to provide more consistency under the direction of Mike Montgomery — who, instead of being fired or bought out as many pundits had predicted, will become the first Warriors coach to reach a third season since Don Nelson.
That sounds dangerously like a "vote of confidence" to me. Also, "many pundits"? A more accurate statement of the case would be, "myself, along with a few other shitty writers who couldn't think of anything based on fact to write about." Is that NC State job still open?
Despite obvious flaws on defense and an offense that often sputtered without the presence of star point guard Baron Davis — who will miss 28 of 82 games by the time it's all said and done Wednesday night — the Warriors seem happy to follow the lead of President Bush and stay the course.
If President Bush is any sort of comparison, I think we know how the '06-'07 season will turn out.
"I know I don't feel like they lack talent. Now how that talent plays together and wins together is my job to fix, because this year did not go the way I wanted it to. That's on me. There's nowhere else to look but right here. And that will be addressed right here."
How does this not sound like a man who is going to do some serious tinkering with his personnel? If you're not going to put chemistry on the coach or players, then where? Does Mullin have a two-week gay cruise planned for the off-season to bring the guys together? If so, Lepper calls cabana boy for Monta Ellis and Ike Diogu (whom he somehow goes an entire "article" without mentioning)!!!
"Finally, I'd like to thank firegeofflepper.blogspot.com," remarked a teary-eyed Mullin, "for their tireless work to rid all of us of this annoyance, not to mention our unblemished record since they started their great project."
Alright, I made that up. But we should get a fucking medal for our service to this franchise.
Lepper: Hey, what are you doing there buddy?
Slave Trader: Oh, just bringing these poor Africans over to our nice little land here. They were all poor and naked in Africa, so I figured "why not bring them over here and give them jobs on our farms?"
Lepper: I see. But what's with the chains and shackles?
Slave Trader (nervously looking around, grinding teeth): Umm, uh, well, it was their first time on a ship, and they were scared and got pretty restless. We put the chains on so they wouldn't hurt themselves.
Lepper: Well, that was mighty kind of you, sir!
A more recent example:
(Scene: Detroit Pistons press conference, June 24th, 2005)
Lepper: Coach Brown, Coach Brown! What do you say to all the rumors regarding you becoming the new coach of the New York Knicks?
Brown: How'd you get in here?
Lepper (displaying press pass): I write for the Oakland Tribune.
Brown (snickering): Oh, OK. Well, then, the answer is "No." I doubt I'll be coaching at all next year, with my health and all. It's too late in the game for me to be starting over somewhere else.
Lepper: Great, thanks Coach!
Some things never change. Now that Warriors executive vice-president Chris Mullin has said that he will not blow up the team, apparently we should take him at his word.
Golden State's brain trust has no problem standing pat with its current crop of players and expecting them to provide more consistency under the direction of Mike Montgomery — who, instead of being fired or bought out as many pundits had predicted, will become the first Warriors coach to reach a third season since Don Nelson.
That sounds dangerously like a "vote of confidence" to me. Also, "many pundits"? A more accurate statement of the case would be, "myself, along with a few other shitty writers who couldn't think of anything based on fact to write about." Is that NC State job still open?
Despite obvious flaws on defense and an offense that often sputtered without the presence of star point guard Baron Davis — who will miss 28 of 82 games by the time it's all said and done Wednesday night — the Warriors seem happy to follow the lead of President Bush and stay the course.
If President Bush is any sort of comparison, I think we know how the '06-'07 season will turn out.
"I know I don't feel like they lack talent. Now how that talent plays together and wins together is my job to fix, because this year did not go the way I wanted it to. That's on me. There's nowhere else to look but right here. And that will be addressed right here."
How does this not sound like a man who is going to do some serious tinkering with his personnel? If you're not going to put chemistry on the coach or players, then where? Does Mullin have a two-week gay cruise planned for the off-season to bring the guys together? If so, Lepper calls cabana boy for Monta Ellis and Ike Diogu (whom he somehow goes an entire "article" without mentioning)!!!
"Finally, I'd like to thank firegeofflepper.blogspot.com," remarked a teary-eyed Mullin, "for their tireless work to rid all of us of this annoyance, not to mention our unblemished record since they started their great project."
Alright, I made that up. But we should get a fucking medal for our service to this franchise.
posted by Sam at 7:32 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home